Excuse me while I vent.

I spent a good twenty minutes this morning letting my kids have it. I told them off for being irresponsible and not using their brains. I told them, while employing several curse words, (I was losing it, try not to judge), that I would no longer let them live if they continued to:

• leave their shoes in odd places so that we had to spend ten minutes every morning looking for them
• act as though the teeth brushing requirement is news to them
• say, "I forgot"
• say, "I don't know"
• leave their homework at school
• toss their coats on the back lawn and claim they can't find them the next morning
• forget to wear their glasses to school
• leave their glasses in the gym, or anywhere else at school
• wrestle in the living room
• fail to bring their dirty clothes to the spot in front of the washer which I call "the laundry room", but is actually still the kitchen
• neglect to wash their hands after using the bathroom

So after I had laid into them for a good while, hoping that sheer anger and a raised voice would get their attention, I sent them off to school.

Two minutes later, Cameron came bolting in the front door with a look of horror on his face. He had forgotten his glasses. I managed to keep my cool. At least he had the decency to be terrified, and he did remember to come back for them in time for me to avoid having to load the three little guys into the wagon and drag their chubby butts up the hill to the school to deliver the darn glasses. Maybe this was progress?

My hopes that there was a light at the end of the tunnel were dashed when Cameron came home from school 7 hours later with no glasses on his face.

Lots and lots and lots of swear words. This time I kept them to myself though, and told him in a very soft, slow voice, (which caused nearly as much fear as the morning rant did), to take Ethan and walk back to the school to get them. He turned tail and ran before I could change my mind and just beat my frustrations out of him.

So what is a mother to do? How does one convey the importance of responsibility to an eight-year-old who's brain is seemingly overwhelmed at just remembering to draw air into the lungs and keep the heart beating at a regular pace?