As everyone knows, Andrew has a physical need to fish for salmon every fall. Because of that, I am doomed to suffer through family vacations where he goes off fishing early in the morning and I sit around waiting for him to come back for most of the day. Does it infuriate me that the only vacation we ever take is to go fishing? More than words can say, but that is not my current dilemma, and I also have to stop thinking about that before my insides explode with rage.
Okay, so here is the issue: Andrew is once again going to Washington to fish this fall. He plans to leave during the second week of September. He wants us to come with him, but I told him we can't. Cameron has always struggled to make friends and to retain those friends once they are made. Sometimes my heart breaks when I pick him up from school because he has obviously had such a bad day, and back in April, it was like pulling teeth to get him to invite kids to his birthday party. He kept insisting that no one liked him. Also, heartbreaking. My problem with Andrew's planned trip is that it takes place during the second week of school, so Cam would only be in school making friends for only one week before we would be taking him out for a week. My fear is that by the time we get back, he will have been "forgotten" and/or replaced by any friends he was able to make during week one. I do understand that kids have struggles and that they need to learn to work through them on their own, but I do not want to hinder him in the process. It's going to be hard enough for him without having his parents give him a set-back. I absolutely want to do the right thing for him.
That's my position. Here's Andrew's argument:
He'll be fine.
You worry too much.
I always struggled with friends when I was his age too, and I turned out fine.
Cameron wants to go visit his cousins.
We could have a party for him to invite kids from school to when we get back.
I have tried to convince Andrew to go later in the fall, such as late October, when there will be another salmon run, and he refuses. So this is it. He gave me two days to make a decision. After all, he has to book a plane ticket if we aren't going with him. So help! I am torn, and I don't know if I'm being an over-protective worry wart, or if I am on the right track.
So this is me petitioning all of you for your opinions. Help!
6 comments:
I'm not going to be much help because I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do but heres my thoughts. Kids are extremely resilient. There is however as a mom when logic doesn't matter and your gut tell you to go a certain direction.
I also have discovered that my very young children can make these decisions on their own. I give them all my thoughts about the negative and positives of what could happen in either choice and then let them decide. That has worked amazingly well in the past.
Ultimately it is mothers intuition that knows best. Good luck.
Eric tells me the same thing about when he was little and how he survived. I say, the same things happened to me, and yeah I survived, but it really sucked and I was really sad at the time! Anyway, Eric goes on a fishing trip every spring and a hunting trip every fall. That's his own thing. I think he kind of likes having time to himself! I'm certainly not upset about it. If you don't want to go in September, and it seems like you have good reasons for that, just don't go. It's not like you guys are spending lots of time together and it's an actual family vacation! I say take another trip up there at Thanksgiving or Spring Break to visit family, and then everyone's happy. That's what I would do, at least.
My kids missed the forst complete week of school last August as we were at the coast. I thought, oh my they are going to have a hard time getting into the swing of things. Nopw they did not. My thoughts are this-the older your kids get the harder it is to justify taking them out of school. When they are young it is more reasonable. I personally would pack up the van and get moving. Cameron will be ok. Maybe the kids will forget he had been there a week and when he comes back he might be treated like the "new kid". Most importantly, you need to take adavantage of oportunities to see family members. You never know when it could be the last. That is how I look at it.
I feel I can not comment because I live in the aforementioned fishing grounds of Washington and therefore my opinion will be biased. ;) But I will support whatever decision you make wholeheartedly, because this parenting gig is tough.
MAN, I have to agree with you, Bethany! I want you to come and I need to love on your kiddos, but I don't know if you should. It may perhaps make the beginning of a new school year a nervous event TWICE! I say come when you all can visit, go to the coast, the zoo, etc. Or come and we will have so much fun! Sorry, as I read my response I realized that I am definitely biased but I understand a mother's concern for her childs welfare.
Bethany is great and her heart is in the right place; our kids are resilient and will be able to jump back into the swing of things. This could be a character building oppertunity for our young kids. He is 8 for crying out loud, its not like he needs a prom date and is running for ASB President.:) We will probably have a Halloween party for him, so that he can get back to his old self if need be.
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