Flashforward

It is the year 2025. There is a knock on the door, late one night. I open it to find that the very thing I have feared for eighteen years has happened. A police officer, standing in the yellow brightness of my porch light, tips his hat and says, "Ma'am."

"Is there something I can help you with, Officer?"

"Is this your son?" he asks, as he hands me a photograph.

I cry out, "Yes!" and begin to sob as I hold a copy of Drew's mugshot in my trembling hand. "I did everything I could, Officer, but it seems he was just born with an evil side. It started when he was just one. He would do awful things. I tried to discipline with time-outs, spankings, being sent to his room and taking away his privileges, but no matter what I did, I could not stunt the dark presence growing inside him." (Sob!)

"You have my condolences, Ma'am. I think the state might offer a plea deal if there were some kind of proof that the child was born with a bad gene and had a predisposition to commit such awful treachery."

"Please, come in, and I'll show you what I have."


Drawing in children's eyes with markers.


Dousing children with baby formula.


Screaming loudly whenever he does not get his way.


Refusing to wear pants outdoors.


Sneaking into my candy stash and dumping my last, precious mnm's in a cup of water.


Drawing on computer monitors.


Stealing his brother's candy and eating it in secret, yet failing to destroy the evidence.


Climbing into forbidden places to play with Windex, my purse, permanent markers and jelly beans.


Stomping in mud puddles to show he is subject to no one's rules.


Dumping out cereal just to have an excuse to play with the broom.


Dumping out cereal just to play in the milk.


Eating Altoid after Altoid, then screaming and spitting profusely.


Dumpster diving for scraps in an effort to falsely accuse his parents of neglect.


Attempted murder.




grinning after...


stealing brownies.


Dragging chairs to the counter to douse the kitchen with water while I wasn't looking.


Peanut butter vandalism.


Impersonating a normal 2 year old.


Drawing on the clean laundry, and having the nerve to try to look innocent in spite of being caught red-handed.


More vandalism.


Throwing dishes.



And that, my friends, is a good reason for me to keep documenting all of this. It could save him some jail time in later years.