4/5/09

It was all so sudden

On Friday night I had one of those things that I think people call an epiphany. Looking around at my house and taking inventory of my life I realized that I had lost myself. For the last who knows how many years I have felt sad, ashamed and embarrassed that when someone asked me what my hobbies or interests were, I had no answer. I used to like a lot of things. I haven't pursued a hobby in years, it seems like. Whoever it was that first said you have to take time for yourself or you have nothing to give, they meant it. I always thought that was a lovely tid-bit of wisdom, but I never applied it, obviously. So that night when I first realized that I lacked a personality and had nothing left to give, I broke out a canvas and some paint and I went to town, just releasing years of pent up creativity and emotion, and I felt better almost immediately. I am by no means a talented painter, but I enjoyed it. And I enjoy photography, so I intend to learn more about how to do that right. And I'm going to buy more paint. And I'm going to get up earlier in the morning and get a hold of my day before the bog of tedious responsibility steals it from me! I'm going to take my whole life back because being a mother and wife shouldn't mean I have no self. I'm going to love my life again, and it's bound to make me a better person, better wife and a better mother. Woooo! Here I go....

2 comments:

Erin said...

Um, I hope it wasn't my kids who made you look around and despair about your life! ;) I hear ya, sista! About, well, pretty much all of it. May the Force be with you on your journey!!!!

Natalie said...

I totally agree. One of these days, I'm going to jump on that program and remember what I used to do pre-kids.... if I can remember!

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