3/23/09

And I thought I was all grown up.


I am about to admit some things that will probably make me seem pretty immature, but I'll do it anyway.

Yesterday, in church, I walked into Relief Society and sat next to a woman who looked about my age whom I had never met. I'd seen her in church, but I don't know her name. I asked her if I could sit next to her and she nodded. So I sat. And then I observed several things which I considered to be odd.

For instance, when I sat, she didn't move her legs which were angled across her chair and into the space that would have been where my legs should have gone. So it was a bit awkward as I tried to take up only what little space was left. Then the woman shook all over in what I suppose was a rather violent shiver, then she looked at me with huge eyes and said, "I got a chill." OK, so that happens...maybe I haven't ever had a chill that caused the person next to me to worry that I might be having a seizure, but it could be that most people do.

Next we sang a hymn, and I smiled every now and then because this woman obviously loved to sing, but couldn't carry a tune. (I know the feeling.) I had a hard time staying close to the proper note with her singing so loudly off key next to me, but she sang with vigor...that's admirable. When the song ended she closed the hymnal and looked at me with a bewildered grin on her face as if to say, "Wasn't that amazing??" Yes. Yes, it was.

Right about then I started to think, "This woman is a big time freak."

About halfway through the lesson, the woman leaned forward, flipped her hair over and rubbed her hands through it like she was shampooing herself. Then she sat back up and slapped herself three times, and I realized she was just trying to keep herself awake. OK, a little strange, but we all have our moments. We sang again at the end of the lesson and I got the same bewildered grin, and that was that. She never moved her legs.

As I told my husband about this experience in the car on the way home I started to wonder if I really knew what "odd" was? Do any of us? All we know is what we are used to. So I decided that that woman was perhaps quirky, but definitely not a freak.

Then today I got into a cyber fight with a family member, which I've never done before and would not recommend. It started out as a difference in opinion over a movie that came out not long ago. I thought it was terrible and my co-debater loved it. The argument, to me, was over whether or not I should be entitled to my opinion without being called a snob. I think the other person thought the argument was about the actual movie, but I'm not sure.

So in the course of our heated on-line discussion, I was told that I tend to not like something just because there is a lot of hype about it. I denied it. I like what I like because I like it, not because other people do or do not share my views. But I think that's only partially true. I thought about my Facebook account, (which I'm starting to think about doing away with), and how I refused to put on my "info page" that I enjoyed tremendously the Harry Potter books and the Twilight books. I find it embarrassing, and I wasn't sure why until today. Those books are excellent examples of creativity and are well written. My embarrassment comes from fear of being considered a fanatic. Yes, I like the books, but so far I don't have a t-shirt that says "I Belong In Gryffindor" or a poster on my wall brandishing a photo of Edward Cullen sporting some sultry eyes and sparkling skin.

I don't think any movie is worth going to see at midnight, and I have long thought that anyone who stands in line for a movie wearing a costume should have a one-way ticket to a deserted island for freaks and nutcases.

So do I dislike things that other people love because I don't want to be a follower? No. I do like some things that are wildly popular. Do I judge people for going all out and wearing capes to the theater or plastering their Facebook page with vampire flair? Yes.

And I thought I was all grown up.

I've decided that labeling those people as freaks or losers is much more immature than whatever they have done to deserve that criticism from me. A person who truly does not care what other people think of them does not judge others. It's a bit hypocritical. So I guess I have some growing up to do. I need to figure out if I really care what others think of me or not, and I need to cut the stereotypes from my mentality. People who love something, anything, with a passion, are better people for finding happiness and goodness in the world. Me judging them just means that I am looking to find fault in others. I want to be a seeker of good. (But that still doesn't mean I like that movie.)

So what is a freak? I suppose there is no such thing. People are different and like all kinds of things for reasons that are their own. So to all you people who have slept in a tent in a theater parking lot or at this very moment have a Legolas action figure on a bookshelf in your living room....power to ya!

4 comments:

Natalie said...

Well said! But I still think you're a freak. ;)

Jourdan said...

Um. i just think you're hilarious.


Where are you living these days?? ANd the rest of the fam? I can't get a comment out of Kellie on Facebook.

Jourdan said...

PS How'd you find my blog? Just curious.

And my oh my, your boys are absolutely beautiful. And they all look so different?! I'm trying to figure out who they look like?

Erin said...

I have begun to realize lately that I really don't mind getting old, because I care less and less about what other people think of me, and I am more and more figuring out what makes me happy, and doing it! I do have some of that same "being embarrassed for liking things that some people are obsessed about" thing. So I'll admit it here in public: I do have a t-shirt that says "I think she's tougher than that, she runs with vampires." However, I have never, ever worn a costume of any kind to the movie theater or anywhere else!

All that being said, I still think that scary Relief Society lady definitely should START worrying about what other people think of her! (Apparently, I'm just not as mature as you are!)

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails