The Kids

DREW

I usually send the kids off to bed with an admonition to say their prayers, and last night I began to wonder if that really happened or not, so I kept them out in the living room to say their prayers, and Drew went first. He needed help, of course, so I gave him the prompts...

Dear Heavenly Father... Dee Hauff fado...

Thank you for my family...(nods head) famee

Thank you for my house...(nods head) house

Please help me to be a good boy...(shakes head) No!

CAMERON

Cameron and Ethan are always begging me to let them bring their own lunches to school. Can't say that I blame them, because a cafeteria tuna sandwich probably isn't at all appetizing, but I usually tell them no, simply because I don't have the time to make them in the mornings. Yesterday I relented because I was making Andrew's lunch anyway and had skipped being a good mom by feeding the kids cold cereal and fruit for breakfast rather than anything warm. So I had a few extra seconds.

Later in the afternoon, Cameron called to tell me they were on their way home, and he told me that he had hardly eaten anything for lunch because I had forgotten to give him a spoon for his yogurt and there was no lettuce on his roast beef sandwich. Apparently, roast beef sandwiches "taste disgusting!" without lettuce.

Ethan pointed out to Cameron that the school provides plastic spoons and maybe next time he could use one of those for his yogurt. Ethan's got my back.

ETHAN

And speaking of Ethan, did you know that "Ethan" has been the most popular boy's name in half of the U.S. states for the last five years or so? We are so original. I'll have tell you about Utah names someday, but I have to say that I was shocked, SHOCKED, when I saw that neither Kaden nor Colton topped the list of popular boys' names in Utah at any time over the last five years. Kayden, Kaden, Brayden, Braxton, Easton and Ryker all made the top 100 in 2008 though, so Armageddon has been evaded for now. (Also, naming your kid after a jail, even if you do change the spelling, is just kind of stupid.)

Anyway, Ethan is a really good manipulator. Since Drew doesn't like to sleep alone in his little bed in a dark room, he usually ends up on Cameron's bed with Cameron, who has become quite good at comforting Drew after bad dreams. Ethan has always felt a little left out because Drew never wants to snuggle with him, so every night when I stand in their doorway for lights out and wish them a good night, Ethan gives me his saddest eyes while he lays there all alone, and he says, "Mom, could you snuggle with me?" Well, it's all a ruse, because as soon as I take pity on him and lay down next to him he rolls over and says, "You can scratch my back if you want to."

And I fall for it every night, because Ethan is just that good at evoking pity from others.

TRENT

Finally, we have Trent. I'm sure you all know that he weighs a hundred pounds, but what you may not know is that he is now the heavy-weight champion in our house. All of that observation in his earlier days has paid off, and he now knows each of his brother's weaknesses. Drew can be taken out with a kick to the head, Ethan will go down with a surprise tackle from behind, and Cameron can't hold out against the forward-leaning slobber blitz.

The boys can all dish it out until the floor is vibrating and the windows are rattling, but Trent is always the last one standing.