6/23/09
"In a pickle"...is that because pickles stink?
I am in a bit of an emotional and spiritual pickle. I've never truly had a problem with forgiveness until recently. I know that we are required to forgive all men, but it seems extra difficult when someone has offended you, well, not really offended. When someone has done something wrong by you that effected your whole family, and that person either does not feel that they have done anything wrong or will not admit that they know they have done something wrong, the whole forgiveness issue becomes even more difficult to swallow. What I struggle with most is that I'm sure that because the person does not feel that any wrong doing has occurred, the incident will be repeated. And for some icing on top, it was a family member that did it. It therefore makes the incident even more offensive and it becomes all the more important that I figure out how to not harbor ill feelings for this individual(s). And that is where I am. I am sure that the only way I will be able to get past this and feel at peace is to pray for help. But I haven't yet because I am afraid I will continually be required to forgive the same thing. And yet, if I don't forgive, then I become the one at fault. In that frame of mind, does it become sinful to only forgive so that you aren't as bad as your offender? Yes, a big pickle.
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2 comments:
Pray. And then pray again. Keep praying until you start to feel a little better about it. And as for the fear of repeated offenses, while I'm not exactly sure of the situation you are referring to, I think your best course of action is to do everything in your power to avoid being in the same situation. As hard as that may be for your family - I think you are probably correct and it will continue to happen. And since this person sees no wrong, it will fall on you to make sure it doesn't.
Getting off my soapbox now - feel free to disregard any advice given from me. I happen to be a little hormonal today. :)
Wow, I thought I was done ranting after I posted on Natalie's blog, but I was wrong! ;) Hope you don't mind. I agree with Nan about keeping yourself out of the situation. Forgiving does not mean forgetting and putting yourself (or your family) in the way of harm or offence again.
Also, I don't know if you have read "Believing Christ" (and anyone who hasn't REALLY should), but one thing it talks about is that it's not where we are, but where we truly are headed that counts. I have been in situations where I literally had to wake up every single day and forgive the person again and again for the same thing because I just couldn't make the forgiveness stick! But for me, that counted as good as someone who has perfect ability to forgive, and we both have the same atonement. So as long as me and that perfectly forgiving person are both doing our own personal best to forgive every day, then Christ makes sure that we are both counted as good. I hope that makes sense...
And no, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it just for the sake of avoiding hellfire and damnation! Brigham Young himself said he had to literally command his knees to bend because he did not want to pray so badly!
K thanks for letting me put in my 2 cents. Although all that may be more like 2 dollars...
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