The Four Slice Toaster and Other Exorbitancy

About a month and a half ago our toaster stopped heating on the inside coils, so only one side of each slice of bread would get toasted. No matter, I was perfectly capable of toasting one side and then flipping the bread over and toasting it again. Then 2 weeks ago, the other coils went out, so there was to be no toast. We went on as though we had suffered no loss. Ethan grieved on the mornings that he had to eat eggs or cereal instead of his beloved toaster waffles. Last Friday I began to miss the toaster enough to tell Andrew that I would not go another day without one. So after we went to dinner for date night on Saturday, (thanks Joel, for the gift card and Kellie and Matt for babysitting), we went to our friendly, neighborhood Wal-Mart and looked for the cheapest toaster we could possibly find. What's the point in spending a lot, right? All it has to do is heat up the coil things. Nothing fancy. So we found two that were the same price...but one had four holes instead of two. It was a brand I had never heard of, but once again - hot coils- who cares? We got that toaster home and the next morning I had waffles toasting for both Ethan and Drew at the same time. It was phenomenal. I never knew that I had been missing out on one of the greatest luxeries that life had to offer - four slice toasters.
So this got me to wondering what other basic luxeries I had been missing out on.
Paper towels, of course. Why spend money for a disposable towel when I can use a real towel or rag, wash it, and use it again?
New pillows. I wonder what that feels like? The kind that sink down when your head rests on them instead of just emanating that "clunk" sound.
Metal or wooden cooking utinsils. I've had these black plastic ones since I got married, and they work fine for most dishes, but they lack the strength to really mix up a batch of Rice Krispie Treats or anything heavy or sticky, really.
My very own razor. I just steal Andrew's. I'm sure he loves it.
A full length mirror. Oooo... I had one in high school and I remember it being nice to see what I looked like from head to toe. These days I probably don't really want to see my lower half anyway.
But you know, I could still do without the luxery of cooking four waffles at once, and doing without the above listed items is not causing me to shed tears. I have it pretty good, I guess. Here are some luxeries that I never need to have and would absolutely rather do without:
Automatic car doors. If I am ever too lazy or unimaginative to figure out how to open or shut my car doors when my arms are full of children or groceries, it would be a disappointing day.
A maid. I know, I have wished and longed for one in the past. OK, every day. But just now I am deciding that it's plain silly to wish for someone else to clean up after you.
A massage at a spa. If I need anything rubbed, I'm sure my husband would oblige. I do not ever want a stranger massaging parts of my naked body while I lie helpless under a sheet. I know that most of you will say that I don't know what I'm missing until I try it. Ignorance and I get along well.
One of those space pod vacuum cleaners that looks a bit like a frisbee with a brain that roams around your living room while you aren't home. Seriously, how long does it take to run a vacuum over your floor? And good ol' fashioned vacuums aren't creepy in the least.
A chauffeur. Where's the fun in that?
A pedicure. I am sure I need one, but I don't want one.
A colon cleanse. Whatever is up there can stay there. I don't need to know about it.
An electronic organizer. If you are busy enough that all your events do not fit into the little day squares on a regular wall hanging calander, then you probably need to cut back anyway.
You know something though? I woudn't complain if I had a commercial grade snow cone machine.