There's One On Every Team

I have come to enjoy watching my kids play soccer and baseball. I love to see them have fun, try hard and sometimes succeed. Ethan's emotions on the soccer field are far more adult than I would have expected. He shows frustration, support for team members, elation and superb concentration. Cameron is less intense on the baseball diamond, but no less entertaining. He jumps up and down for a whole slew of reasons; from impatience to excitement. He gracefully runs like a bounding deer. And I have started to feel more comfortable cheering from the sidelines. I try to remember to cheer for my son's teams as well as their opponent's victories, and encourage anyone who seems to be in need of some boosting. These kids are 5 and 8, after all, and the score is hardly the most important part of their games. I have even started to do all of this in a voice loud enough to be heard by the people next to me! A great improvement! But today in Cameron's baseball practice I again encountered the dreaded and ugly Sideline Parent Monster. Why do some parents have such trouble with impulsively shouting out pointers to their child, correcting mistakes, and rejoicing at other players failures? Sitting about 5 feet from me on the bleachers was a woman who had remained completely silent until her son was up to bat in the team's practice game. He stood up there and got ready to swing...listened to the coach give some encouraging suggestions and was then ripped from his mental focus by the sound of his mother yelling, "Bend your knees!!!" So he did, and took a swing at the ball that was pitched by the very unpredictable machine. Missed. Mom yelling again, "Keep your eye on the ball, no matter what!!!" (Thanks, Mom, that's what I was trying to do before you screamed and scared the crud out of me...) Swung and missed again. Mom adds to her rant, "You had a great swing, but you need to keep your eye on that ball all the way through!" Coach at this point has given up trying to help the child at all because the kid can hardly keep his head pointed towards the pitching mound with his mother's constant interruptions going on behind him. So after a few more misses and a few more irritating shouts from his mom, the poor kid finally hits the ball and makes it to first base, but not before the baseman has caught the ball and tagged him out. So now the kid is in the outfield and is waiting for the ball to come his way... He didn't have to wait long, and finally his mother had some positive things to say. Too bad she didn't extend that praise to the batter as well. Her response to her son's catch and tag of the batter was this: "Great job! That was an awesome catch, and you got that kid out!! It was great! Good job!" Hmmm. Maybe she forgot that that poor batter, who had done his best and was excited to have hit the ball, was on her son's team and that it would have been kind and considerate of her to cheer for that child's great hit and her son's catch. Instead, she tore the smile off the batter's face with one swift and prideful remark. I don't know which of these three people to feel the most sorry for. The mother, who will no doubt be the recipient of many disgusted glances from other parents and who seems oblivious to her own stupidity; her son, who will one one day realize what a dope his mother is and will have to survive the embarrassment of her for years; or the poor batter boy , who had the wind snatched from his sails by someone who should have been on his side. Such a shame. Maybe some day, parents like that will experience having their losses or failures pointed out to anyone in earshot, and they will realize how much fun it must be for a young child to be on the receiving end of that. It makes me stop and think about how the things I say might effect my children's self esteem, and while I do well in the sporting arena, I am not guiltless in other areas. So I will resolve to build my children up, and never, ever tear them down.